Yes, I Dare to Llove :)

I don't know what I want to write about, but I do know that I would like to write. I feel the need to purge a little, to let go, to vent, to be heard, to wonder aloud, to be known . . . . oh, I don't really know, do I? I do know that it seems like almost everything around me is moving at twice the speed that I am lately. It just seems that I need almost double the time allotted me to do even the simplest of things. I want just a little more time to make supper, could I have just ten more minutes to tidy up my bedroom, is it asking too much to actually complete something that I have started? This is all very interesting, but let's move on and talk about what I really Llove, or I guess I should say who I really Llove, shouldn't I? Shane



Shane is truly, unequivocally the greatest Llove of my life. Oh, and by the way, I should probably point out the obvious here, but Shane and I have for as long as I can remember used two Ll's whenever we talk about the Llove between us in writing. I am not exactly sure when it started, but I think that it was towards the end of our time in high school. Anyway, it is just what we do, I don't even really notice it when I write it, it just happens. :)

I think that it is so clever how God orchestrates so many things in life. I love how He allows us to get all riled up about another person, to the point that we fall in love and think that it is the greatest thing ever, only to find out that we haven't even experienced the real thing yet. When I think about the way I felt about Shane in the beginning to now, it just cracks me up. I remember my father telling me on practically the eve of my wedding nuptials that he understood how I was all in love and that I thought this must be the height of what it is all about, but that it was just the beginning and that in ten years I would look back and see that all the emotions and physical attractions that I was experiencing then would just pale in comparison to what they would have grown to become. I remember throwing my head back with a sweet and innocent laugh conveying my enjoyment for what he had said, but deep down I was like "are you kidding me? I could never Llove Shane more than I do right now, seriously dad". Well, I think that he definitely got the last laugh. Lucky for me it didn't take ten years to figure out how ridiculous of a thought that was.

Each day I live I am falling deeper and deeper in Llove with him. It has surpassed any kind of intensity that I thought even existed. Our Llove seems to defy what the world says is possible. Oh, they would acknowledge that you can have that Llove and passion, but only after a lot of forgiving, a lot of choosing to do so and a lot of looking beyond who that person really is - cause you know he isn't as lovable as you once thought. Good grief. I am sure that those situation do arise, but seriously I am NOT talking about that at all. Yes, I do a lot of forgiving, a lot of choosing and a lot of looking beyond, but NOT as the basis or foundation for my Llove for him. I do those things for myself, as I continue to conform to what God has required of me in my relationship to my husband. The passion and Llove I have for Shane has grown out of a deep commitment and a completely vulnerable place. Our Llove envelops us because we dare it to. We take risks in becoming as much a part of each other as we can. Time and space cannot even begin to impede this transformation, in fact for us it seems only to heighten the experience. I wait in great expectation to see where our Llove might take us as this year goes by.

I dare you to go out and grow yourself a Llove of your own.

Post Script: Here is another one that was started some time ago. I think I practically fell asleep while writing it one night. All I had to do was give it the once over and I realized that this also needed to be included in my memories of this year. This one's for you Shane!!